it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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