i'm signing you up for texting rehab
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
