I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I cut my penus on the lid.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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