I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
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