I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
