so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
