dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
