i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
