Your tits are I can't wait for
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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