i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize