I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Randomize
