There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
