just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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