So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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