I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
