why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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