So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
