She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize