Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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