At least make sure they are 18
Why
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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