porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
