I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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