Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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