dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
