Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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