the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
