never play flip cup with pint glasses
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Randomize