I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
