I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
