So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
please come you make the beer taste better
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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