I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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