i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
