I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
