How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize