if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
