Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
