Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
