Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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