I think I am morally bankrupt
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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