I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
