yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
