my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Randomize
