Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
