his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Semen is not good for contacts.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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