**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
