I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Randomize
