I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Yo dont text me then not text me
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
So much rum. So many feels.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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