protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Enjoy the penises
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
