I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
