it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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