Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
