Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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