They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Randomize
