No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Randomize
