I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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