I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i wish my penis had a tongue
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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