i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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